With Fathers Day rushing upon us I have been turning my mind to my own father (who I will refer to as dad because lets face it – he’s “Dad” to my siblings and I. My dad is a plumber and has been working 6 days a week for as long as I can remember (and if I am honest about my age I am almost 40 so that’s a long time).
Probably the thing my dad has taught me that has had the greatest impact on my life to date is that if you want anything in life you have to work for it – and work hard. If it means working 7 days a week to succeed or get by then that is what you have to do – no excuses, just do it. I think this has been one of the major lessons that he taught me as I was growing up. From about the age of 10 until I was 16 I was a competitive swimmer at a National level. I trained 11 times a week in the pool and either ran or was in the gym every other day (this was a period in my life when I was close to a size zero but even then my big bones were problematic). It took commitment and dedication to win gold medals and be number 1 and my parents helped ensure that I was attending training, eating properly and pushed me to maintain my number 1 ranking number one in my age group for certain swimming disciplines year after year. I really believe that the example that was set by my dad when it comes to a work ethic was a huge influencer to my achievements in swimming. This in turn taught me to work hard for what I want. After High School I went to university and completed a BA/LLB (conjoint) degree (so a Bachelor of Arts and a Bachelor of Laws) – again this came about as a result of my parents expectations that I excel at school and work hard.
The other important life lesson my Dad taught me was honesty and to be honest in what you do whether it is to the taxman, your friends, your employer, yourself – whatever it is be honest. This is probably one of the best lessons I’ve learnt and has heavily influenced my life path to date.
I have many memories of my dad as I was growing up. One is the time that I was slicing roast meat in the kitchen when I was about 9 years old. I was slicing meat with the blade of the knife pointing toward me and yeah well we all can anticipate what happened next – I sliced the side of my left hand from the base of my thumb in a line about 3cm long and, because I have never done anything by halves, it was deep. Dad was outside doing something with his Ute (probably putting away his tools or getting ready to go to an after-hours job) when I ran out the front door and down the stairs to show him what I had done. I don’t recall exactly my demeanour but I have no doubt I was crying and being dramatic. From out of nowhere Dad got his first aid kit and was squirting saline solution on it (which I recall not being too happy about) and then I fainted (of course).
My poor dad then had to carry me up our front steps (no mean feat as I was a large child and those who have known me a long time know that I am not nor ever will be size zero material – it’s because I am big boned though) and wrap it in a bandage and helped me calm down. That day he was, and still is, my hero.
As I write this more and more memories are coming to the surface – a funny one was when I went with dad to a roofing job he had on an absolutely enormous house belonging to someone with tonnes of cash (or at least I thought so) somewhere in Auckland. I went along to “help” him. It transpired that I was not destined to be a roofer, or plumber or hold any job that required being able to climb a ladder while carrying something that one would need to use once getting from the bottom of the ladder to the top. Needless to say I was a hindering the completion of Dad’s work so he told me to mill around and relax until he was finished.
I was stoked at Dad’s suggestion and for some reason thought that the flat black parts on the roof would make a perfect backdrop for me to get a tan. I grabbed a white towel from the Ute, climbed onto the roof and proceeded to tan myself thinking about how clever I was and how awesomely brown I was going to be. Boy was I wrong….I was red, like a lobster with a sunburn that lasted all week and meant that I had to take cold showers. I imagine that Dad wondered what he had done to deserve such a bright child. We all learn so much from our parents.
I think that these are two of the greatest lessons I have learnt and the example given to me by Dad has been a pretty hard act to follow – but I’m doing it.
In my day job I work as a lawyer in a high pressure environment where I have responsibility for a large part of the country and lead a team of staff. I also own By Bec Designs with my husband which requires me to work evenings and weekends to keep up with demand from our business (making and selling our candles as well as the social media, running our website etc).
I often get asked how I manage to be successful in my day job as well as run a business on the side. I think I can put it down the lessons taught and the example set by my dad – If you want something in life you have to work for it – and work hard while being honest about what you do. I think that is a pretty good start for the road to success and my Dad has been such a huge part of that.
Bec xx
Dad and Mum
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